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27. 12. 2007

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Dispelling Internet Dating Myths
By Vittorio Norman

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Myth # 1: Meeting women online isn't the real world.

Response: It becomes the real world once you meet them in person.

Myth # 2: It becomes a crutch for people.

Response: In that case, so are clubs or any specific venue where you operate within only one environment, and within certain times of day.

Myth # 3: All the girls you meet have some sort of problem.

Response: In bigger cities ("Chicago", "New York", Los Angeles", etc.) where internet dating is more mainstream, this is certainly not the case. The average woman you meet online is representative of the average woman outside.

Myth # 4: You lose communication skills.

Response: You challenge your communication skills. In fact, in some ways it is even harder to pull from online since all you have is the power of text.

Myth # 5: It's a numbers game.

Response: It's always a numbers game. One main difference is that women are less likely to remember you if you "screwed up" online. But once you get more skill you can try with the same women again, with a different picture and a different profile.

Myth # 6: It just doesn't work, period. You're wasting your time.

Response: All people who say this haven't gotten it to work. They don't see a way to do it because they personally haven't found a way. So the problem is with them, period. There's an even bigger matrix for meeting women online than in-person (just browse dating megasites such as "American Singles", "eHarmony", "Great Expectations", "Yahoo! Personals", etc.). This is evident as even certain club pick-up "gurus" renounce its effectiveness.

Myth # 7: Hot women on the internet are validation queens who don't actually want to meet. They just enjoy the attention.

Response: Hot women in many places are validation queens, whether they are sitting in front of a computer or out at the club - they are usually in the princess mindset. If you can get her attention, you can get her interest.

Myth # 8: It limits your choices.

Response: I can technically meet more women at a time, say with multiple messenger chat windows, then with the one-at-a-time in-person approach.

Myth # 9: You don't know what you're doing wrong unlike in real life where you get actual feedback. Moreover, the online medium doesn't help you to understand women in general.

Response: This is only partially true, which is why you must get in-person field experience as well. It helps you understand the online game better. However, by getting girls on my messenger I can observe certain behavior patterns which I would not normally have noticed so clearly any other way.

Example 1 - If a girl likes me she will always initiate messaging me. Once I get them on messenger (like MSN) I can roughly gauge her interest like a meter, based on how and when she uses the Away, Busy, or Online status.

If she likes me and really wants to talk to me she will change her Away or Busy status to Online, when I log in. Conversely, if she doesn't like me she will switch to Away or Busy status when I log in. Much easier than calling and re-calling a girl who won't answer the phone, whom you can't quite tell if she is just not interested or just has a lot on the go. Also, as an added benefit, if I go out with a girl and then afterwards I never see her online anymore, it means she blocked me and is not interested. So I know I don't have to waste my time trying to call her, to find that out the hard way. But if instead she shows up online then chances are it means she wants to see me again.

Unlike the phone where even girls who like you won't always initiate calling you, by getting them on your messenger you take away that source of "stage fright", and make them more likely to chase you a bit. Which means that IF they like you they will message you, ALWAYS, even the shy girls. Confusing a girls lack of interest with fear of answering your calls, is a thing of the past, especially for younger girls, and/or girls who live at home with their parents.

Example 2 - I can more easily, based on behavior patterns, figure out which women are seeking pure attention from me as opposed to actually being interested. I've had a few women message me out of the blue who sort of hinted at meeting up, and so I took the bait and went for it. But then they declined as they were "too busy". I then looked at the Allow List on my msn, and I found out that these same women deleted me from their contact list soon after. This helps me to isolate and understand the type of behavior which indicates genuine interest, and that which is geared towards having me chase, for an ego boost.

Myth # 10: It's too time consuming.

Response: It's less time consuming because all I have to do is be in the right mental state, as opposed to being in the right mental state, dressed up, cleaned up, and in the right venue. I can do this during lunch hour at work, or while in my pajamas at home.

Myth # 11: It creates excuses.

Response: Excuses become less plausible. There are no cockblocks, or other obstacles to complain about. You can't even say there are lack of targets since searches turn up thousands of prospects, especially in major cities.

Myth # 12: It takes less skill then real life.

Response: In some ways it takes more skill because, as I said, all you have is the power of text to work with. The internet is difficult which is why in-person meeting is more accessible to most initially. Then once you get some real life skill then give online a shot, and if you're like me, the internet will make meeting women way more efficient for you, and less costly too - as clubs, alcohol, and cab fare are fairly expensive. Also, there's the matter of health. I want to preserve my hearing well into the future.

© Vittorio Norman

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Vittorio_Norman

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